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This year we in Live Dead Silk Road are fasting together to seek the face of Jesus, pray for the Unreached, and discipline our bodies. We’re inviting you to participate! Here are some thoughts from one of our team members on fasting.

The moment of truth was fast approaching.

My college boyfriend was going to ask my parents for permission to marry me.

However, there were two obstacles in my way: my mother and father.

Confident that my boyfriend was the man God had designed for me, I was certain my parents were directly opposing the will of the Almighty. I had tried every rational argument with them to no avail, so it was time to pull out the spiritual big guns: I decided to fast for the three days so that God would clue in my parents on His plan.

But, I went about it all wrong. I was trying to coerce God into accomplishing my will instead of using the fast to draw near to Him and discover His will. I was not interested in knowing God’s thoughts if they were different than my own. There was this magic formula in my head:

Fasting + Praying + Reading the Bible + Really, really hoping = God doing what I want

But that is not how it works.

I Can’t Manipulate God

Not surprisingly, my efforts to control God failed. My boyfriend, who had already purchased an engagement ring, was refused my parents’ blessing. But I even fasted, God! My heart cried out in exasperation. What else do you expect me to do? The answer was simple. Die. Die to my will and allow only Christ’s desire to live in me.

I had been acting like the people of Israel in the days of Isaiah. They asked the prophet why when they fasted God didn’t respond (Is. 58:3). Isaiah told them it was because they had been fasting to find their own desires instead of God’s. Fasting and praying are great things, but if not accompanied with right living and submission to God, they do very little. If we would stop seeking our own pleasure and speaking our own words, then we will find delight in the Lord! (Is. 58:13-14)

See, I was called to be a missionary, and my parents had (rightly) perceived that my boyfriend did not have that same calling.

But the thought of going to a foreign country alone terrified me. I had always envisioned myself as a missionary spouse, not as a missionary in my own right. The next few months I truly fasted and drew near to God – not with pre-conceived ideas, but allowing God to tell me His ideas.

The Answer Came

He said simply: “I called you.” My calling was not contingent upon being married, upon being talented enough, upon being anything else but me. To answer that call I knew I had to lay down my dream of being a wife, at least for the foreseeable future. In exchange, I would pick up the immense joy of being a part of God’s redemptive plan for humanity. I applied for my first overseas assignment which meant the end of my relationship with my boyfriend.

January’s Kingdom Fast of giving up certain food is designed to symbolize our willingness to lay down whatever Jesus requires and pick up whatever he instructs.  If the Lord asked you, would you be willing to lay down a relationship – be it with a person, with your job, with your money, or with anything else from which you derive your worth? What you will pick up in exchange will be incomparably more wonderful than anything He asks you to sacrifice.

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